Olafsvik, Icelandic for...

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Day 2:  The long and winding road to Olafsvik...

On our second day in Iceland, we started off no more crazy than we usually would have.  We got up, stored the luggage and walked over to get the car.  The city was surrounded by fog  Not just rolling in off the water a 'lil but thick ass fog.  Put your hand in front of your face.  Can't see it?

This fog was thicker.

We had a long ride ahead of us to Olafsvik on the Snaefellsnes Peninsula to the northwest of Reykjavik.  For those of you who do not know about Iceland - and that would include us if we hadn't gone there, there is one road around the entire country called the ring road, route 1.  The middle is pretty much impassible thanks to the glaciers, volcanoes and mountains in the area.  After some research and what we thought would work for us, we headed to Snaefellnes Peninsula, so named after the national park, so named after the glacier that's there.  The ride was fucking amazing.  There are waterfalls everywhere, literally every quarter to half a mile – just popping out of the mountains.   We had a debate on what exactly made a water fall.  Thankfully, I was able to get Jess to understand that "falling water" does not automatically equate to a "waterfall."  This could have been a potential sticking point for the remainder of the trip.

Everything was very green during this visit.  You can look at the landscape and understand the references to other planets and "out of this world" scenes.  It really is an amazing place one that tells the story itself:  you can see, feel and smell the constant physical conflict that has taken place and made this land what it is today.  There is nothing I can say that will make you understand, it is honestly one of those places you should visit yourself to have a true understanding.

Jess decided that she wanted to stop and see the Settlement museum about the settlement of Iceland.  Which was fine because there was a cache there and you could climb the tower it was hidden under free of charge = bonus!

Not sure exactly what was said because he was a maniac the entire time in there.  I am pretty sure that anyone who is Icelandic can trace their family back to the original settlers and that is pretty cool.  It is also borderline if not disgustingly incestuous that an entire country can spring from approximately 36 people.

He did like being able to go on the fake bow of the ship.  

When the museum was done, we went to a local school's  playground and had lunch and hung out and ate lunch.

He's a sucker for the giant sandbox and black sand.

I sat there and thought about the fact that we are sitting in this playground, looking behind it and on the side and seeing water and mountains.  They probably don't even think about it - it's just common place like we think about NYC or getting to the beach easily.  It just is.  They, like us, must take for granted what's around them.

We got back in the car and hit a few caches on the way to Olafsvik.  There were two near an old volcano crater, Eldborg.  We parked the car, looked at the horses and then headed over to the trail.  It was pretty cold and windy but not too bad.  As we got to the trailhead, which was part of a farmers property there were a bunch of cows right on the fucking trail.  I'm talking as soon as you open the gate.  I'm not exactly afraid of cows, but they're not too fucking bright and they're big so if they decided to do something, you're screwed.  As soon as I opened the gate and one started tapping his hoof and inching forward.  I'm thinking shit, they're gonna charge and zip right out of this pasture area.  Not only will I be squashed but I will have to pay the farmer for his lost cows.  Jess and the baby got in an moved down the trail.  I stared the cows down and then got on the trail, checking my back for the next quarter mile.


We found the cache easily enough and then started to make our way back to the trail head.  Wouldn't you know it?  Those dumbass cows knew that it was time for them to go in.  The farmer was there herding them from the field to their barn.  Not, however, I would like to point out, before the had crapped all over the place.  On the way back we watched some jackass in a Rav4 drive through the river and then stop on the other side.  Never got out and never moved - probably flooded out. We stopped to check out and pet the Icelandic ponies and then got back on the road for the last leg of the trip.

On the next leg of the drive, Jess reminds me that we do not have a stove, just a microwave.  But she doesn't say it exactly like that and I am left with the impression that we have things other than a microwave at our disposal.   "You're going to cook raw chicken in the microwave?"  I ask.  "Yeah," she replies, "I found an awesome recipe for it."  

I'm not sure if I was in shock, horrified or the seriousness of the situation just didn't register with me.  It was left at that and we continued on our way.

We were coming to the end of the ride after enjoying the scenery and I knew and she reminded me that the last bit of road changes to gravel.  Just before it, however, she had passed some large truck that we were going faster than.  Some trucker who drives these roads all the time.  He let us by and a few minutes later we hit the gravel road.

You have to go 10 km/hr slower on the gravel road but this does not help us in our shitty small ass hatch backed Hyundai from sliding on the gravel.  The first stretch of the road the grade was 10% and then it jumped up to 12.  The road had a lot of curves, no fucking guardrails and massive drops to our death on either side of us.

Where's the experienced truck driver you ask?  He's right in our assholes.  There's no way he's going to slow down in time should Jess spaz and we start careening off the side of the road.  The little Hyundai is sliding, the large tires of the truck are gripping and there's no doubt in my mind that at least something bad is going to happen.

Amazingly, we make it to the end and find ourselves on the paved road to Olafsvik again.  Surely, I am only kept alive so that I can die at the hands of fucking microwaved raw chicken.

We got to the hotel, which has no internet in the rooms, only in their lobby and restaurant area.  This place must be owner by Russian mobsters.  We head to the grocery store and the baby if off, all he wants to do is play with balls and trucks that are for sale in the store.  Jess if hunting for food because the place closes in about 5 minutes and nothing makes sense as to where shit is.

It's here that things kinda went south.  "What are you getting the chicken for?"

"I told, you, we're going to cook it in the microwave, I found a really good recipe."

"I'm not eating raw chicken cooked in the microwave.  That's begging for salmonella. No fuckin' way dude."

"Well, that's what I had planned."

"We can eat out."

 Thankfully baby Neil was spazzing so I could take him outside.  All I could think of was this mental girl we saw in Paris two years prior.  (I'm gonna fucking puke thinking about it).  I don't know if she was retarded or insane, but she was a gypsy, the Roma.  We are on the escalator coming out of the subway and headed to the church of Saint Denis.  This crazy ass takes a whole raw chicken out of a plastic bag, james it up in her face and starts smelling it.

The she smells her hand.  I had pointed this out to everyone (Jess and her parents) but at this point I told Jess not to watch anymore (she was about 4 months pregnant).

Then she licked both her hand and her chicken.

She licked the fucking raw fucking chicken.

The she puts her fucking salmonella infested and licked hand on the railing of the escalator.  My hand is on that thing and who knows how many fucking raw chickens she has stolen and licked on this escalator.  I don't get sceeved easily but I am ready to boil water and scald myself with it.  I have seen TONS of crazy shit in NYC but this absolutely takes the fucking cake.

When we got back to the hotel room - self catering, they like to call it.  We unpacked all our stuff.  I looked at the little Chernobyl cooking machine with disgust and almost puked in my mouth again thinking of the girl in Paris.

Someone was looking out for me, because Jess announces that there is nothing in the apartment, no oil to cook with, and barely any items to use to cook stuff with.  She announces that we are going to have to eat out and do I want to go to the restaurant in the hotel for dinner.  "Sure," I said, "Too bad, I was looking forward to that microwaved raw fucking chicken."

We decided to take it easy for the remainder of the evening.  We walked around the pier and looked at the boats, then up to the waterfall across the street.  The baby picked flowers for momma and we just hung out and relaxed.  We decided not to go to the playground because, shit we needed something to do the next evening.  (Keep in mind that the photos below were taken between like 8-9:30 at night.  That midnight sun thing, that shit is no joke!)

So, this room is a studio, which means his travel crib is right near us and it's fairly bright in the room.  I get him in the sack and try to sneak over to the bed.  I hop in and like 2 minutes later he starts calling out and is standing and looking at us in the "dark" of the room.  

Jess and I are both trying not to laugh.  Well, I am laughing but I have the covers over my chin and nose.  He's there looking for about 30 minutes, not saying anything, just looking around, like WTF.  We don't know if he's thinking 'I can see you two idiots' or 'Where is everyone?' or   We both fall in and out of sleep and I eventually have to get up and get him back to sleep because he started crying.  

He was probably weeping because he thought that I was forced to choke down the microwaved raw chicken.  Really good recipe...does it include a BBQ and or flames?

It was an interesting first night in Olafsvik to say the least.