Three car minimum...

Sunday, July 21, 2013

We're on the Isle of Skye right now.  I've said we were in the middle of nowhere before, we're really in the middle of nowhere now.  But before we get you here, you should really travel the day with us.

And before that, if you've been reading the blog regularly, thanks - it's a real trip seeing the stats each day and seeing how many people are actually interested in the travels of two idiots who decided to take a 19 month old across the Atlantic and put him through the wringer.  If you have read sporadically, thanks as well, perhaps we give you some relief at work or on the subway or something but I hope you enjoy it. If not, go find another webpage to read and you know what else you can do to yourself!

Let me apologize in advance for the shitty fucking internet access in Scotland.  They actually had something about it in the news when we first got here and quite frankly, they're right.  It sucks ass.  People have it but they need modem boosters, etc.  The one place that didn't have it, the woman had her own website.  WTF?

We again got out of the place late  - around 11 and headed on our way to Urquhart Castle, the first of two today.  They were both cool - though Jess didn't like this one because she felt there weren't enough rooms or shit that was together - too many pieces.  Both are along the route from Inverness - past Loch Ness to the Isle of Skye.

On the way out of Urquhart, Jess forced me to buy more beer at the Loch Ness Brewery.  Their shop was attached to some hotel, and inside, there was a bar which seemed to be separate from the everything else.  There were lots of older locals. After going in to the breweries shop, we headed in to the bar with our pants-less son so he could go see the dog.

Next up was Eilean Donan  - this castle is younger than my house.  The original wasn't, of course, but this one was rebuilt between 1919-1932.  If I win some ridiculous lotto, I am building a friggin castle somewhere, it must be on water, I would be ok with a lake.  But yes, we will be building a castle.  

We managed to squeeze in one old school shot without the third wheel.

So, baby Neil has upped the anti to a three car minimum.  What the hell does that mean you ask?  He is no longer carrying one car in each hand, now it's two in one and one in the other.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  It's his blankie, I guess but he's very fickle.  If you're a new car, you're in and if you're old, you're out.  Out like, I barely play with your ass anymore.  I'd like to break him of the cars in hand habit because when he falls he's going to break his wrists.  Hopefully not - but it's a bad habit - though not as bad as the one he would develop later that evening.

We continued on the road to Skye.  This really is some of the best scenery I have seen.  It ranks right up there with New Zealand.  Parts of the drive look like Barra where the MacNeils are from and it's not far from here.  Much of the landscape is very green, trimmed by the thousands of sheep who live here. But high up, there are spots that are very rocky and barren, probably due to the wind.  On occasion, it looks like another planet but for me, it just looks like Barra.

We knew that we needed to stop and get some gas and get some food and things before we got to our place - which is in the middle of friggin' nowhere.  We got to the Co-op and when we got out, the baby was completely soaked.  At first I'm thinking, "Holy crap!  He peed right through the diaper."  But then I realize, there's no way he peed this much - not without drinking at least 10 beers - more on that later.

We get him out of the car seat and start to strip him down.  With the trunk fully loaded, we can't change him back there, so in the parking lot, we get him naked and change his diaper and clothes.  Jess starts getting frantic, "He's gonna pee, he's gonna pee!"  I'm thinking, no he's not, he never does.  He's only peed on or at me twice.

Sure enough, there he goes.  One little spritz.  We're both dying laughing.  Then baby Neil starts laughing, then, another, longer spritz.  He's laughing even harder.  Now, the naked baby is trying to step in his pee - he's still got his socks and shoes on.  The laughing by all three of us gets louder and my son has take the first of what I am sure will be many whizzes in a parking lot.

We got to the barn and met the owner, got our necessary stuff inside and then ate the sandwiches and soup that was left for us.  By left, I mean we paid for.  It's been hot on the Isle and everyone likes to let you know it.  We know it because we are told that we can open the windows but can't leave them open all night or the midges will get in.  These fucking midges will carry you away while you sleep too, so beware!

After all this, and our walk down the block, which didn't last too long because of said midges, Jess was watching the baby while I was getting all of the rest of the stuff out of the car.  When I come back in she says, sort of matter of fact, "He drank some of your beer."

Now, I don't know if I should be angry because he drank beer or he drank some of MY beer. Jess isn't sure if he's had one gulp or more (probably more, he is MY son) but he's definitely had some.

The evening wears on, and he gets more and more delirious. I'm wondering if it's the beer or not.  He cried for a good half an hour or so before I went in and performed my magic.

I am the baby whisperer.

The view from The Barn at Roskhill.

More Open Skye:

Day two here was VERY lazy!  I am not complaining either.  I think that I am really enjoying the relaxed approach to the use of our time.  We discussed it on the ride today.  That's because there was a lot of driving.  I am finding it far more relaxing not to rush in the AM and just get out when we get out - it's far less stressful and after all, I am on vacation.

What better way to start breakfast than with Jess' first attempt at a Scottish breakfast.

Pretty damn good too!

First stop today was Dunvegan Castle, seat of the MacLeods, one of the families with very close Nordic ties.  This castle too was rebuilt - either in the 1800 or 1900s.  It is another cool location, surrounded in part by water.  

Next up, was our seal trip.  The boats took off from the castle grounds and took you around the loch.   There is a colony of about 300 seals there.  The numbers had dropped for a little while.  Most of the babies were around 4 weeks old and the moms had already kicked them out and sent them on their own.  There were still 2 or 3 that we saw nursing.  Other than that, they were doing what seals do, sunning, swimming and hunting.  Not a bad life if you ask me.  We were able to get really close to some.

Don't let him fool you, he was having a good time.

After the seals, we had our lunch at the castle and then took a drive up to Uig to go and find and hike the Fairy Glen.  Directions to most places are really ridiculous - like, at the second cow on the left, make a right, go up the hill, it will curve, stay on that, go past the driveway with the rocks and then stay to the left and you should see it in a few miles.  

Getting to Fairy Glen, on the unmarked road was no difference.  We thought the area was going to be good to let the baby walk around and hike.  Just because it's called Fairy Glen does not mean it's not dangerous.

If you look down below, you can see our car.  He hiked all the way up from there, on his own, with the exception of the last 20 feet or so when Jess helped him to balance.  It had to be over a third of a mile with maybe 200 ft elevation gain.  Not too shabby.

There was the outcropping of rock that must have been at least 25 if not 30 feet high.  We had decided that we would go up there for the views.  As she's going up the trail, Jess was getting second thoughts, "Oh, it's really steep...oh, the trail isn't wide,  I'm getting nervous."  Me, if there is something like that, and I plan on going, I'm getting up there, period.  So once she got to the gap in the rocks, I got up there and as she pulled herself through, I saved his head from being smashed into the rock.  Otherwise, it wasn't too bad.

The views were awesome and truth be told, it was a little dangerous.  Who the hell takes a 19 month old up a rocky outcropping?  Who let us have kids?

We didn't let go of him the whole time we were up there, and I am not sure how much of an impression it made on him but he seemed to enjoy it.  To get back down, I sent Jess first and left all our shit up on the rocks.  I carried him down through the gap and then passed him off to Jess who threw him into the backpack.  Perfect, no casualties.

He's wither going to love hiking or become a complete maniac.

We hoped the baby would nap when we headed across the peninsula through the Quiraing.  It's an awesome area that just has a ton of cool scenery.  We were able to grab a few geocaches on the way too including one which was tough to find because of the signal bouncing off the rocks.  The place had awesome views and lots of Asian tourists.

View from the cache.

The road through was littered with sheep.  There were a ton - the side of the road, on the road, jumping off the road.  At times the lanes were so thin you could barely get one car through so we had to do the pull over in the "passing place" so that people could get through.  The slow drive was well worth it though - the landscapes were fantastic, almost other planet like.

When we got out on the other side, we headed to a spot to get some food - but first we stopped at a beach with black sand.  All he wanted to do was run out in the water.  There was a cache there and we hung out with all the locals for a little bit.

We made it to our destination for dinner, as recommended by our seal boat tour guide, only to be turned away because we did not have reservations.  We asked the chef for recommendations in Portree - the town we were headed through, but he couldn't.  He was reluctant to make a recommendation and seemed surprised that we even asked.

I wanted to punch him right in his face.  Who let him leave Australia?

We got to Portree or Port Righ and headed in to the downtown area.  There were two restaurants that were connected right where we parked.  One billed itself as "kid friendly" and we popped in there, the baby saw a bunch of toys and some little girls playing.  He wanted to stay.  We went to check the one next door and he started to get pissed and spaz out.  They didn't have any space and so back to the other one we went - it was the same food in the restaurants - just different atmospheres.  He was super happy - so I guess it was fate.

He immediately ran over and scooped up as many cars as possible - holding four and keeping true to his three car minimum.  They had Guinness, so I was super happy - so I guess it was fate.

We hung out and watched him play while we waited for the waitress...

and we watched and waited...

and waited...

After about 20 minutes, Jess went up to find out what the story was and she said she will be there in a minute.  Jess just gave her the order, right there.  When it came, hers had mayo, she was not super happy - so I guess it was fate.  We hung out for a bit and headed back on the road to The Barn.

Port Righ

When we got back, they went inside to shower while I unloaded the car and got the clothes off the line.  The flies, or midges, or both were all over my face.  Tried as I might to be quick, the line had multiple levels of strings and it was taking forever.  I didn't have a basket with me so I was holding all the clothes in my hand and couldn't swat the fuckers away.  Jess used the brilliant idea of clasping her bras on the line so she wouldn't have to use any pins.  I used to be good at unhooking them with one hand but I am out of practice, not to mention, then I was focused on that one thing and didn't have to worry about trying to swat flies from my face.  Someone call Sally Struthers! Screw the children, save me.